I haven’t gone to the same lengths (ha!) as John, but I still struggle with some things that my fellow classmates said to me in the past. What I didn’t expect was for a game about an anthropomorphized penis to actually make me reflect on my own failings from high school. To spoil the hilarious narration would rob this game of its surprise, but suffice to say that there is plenty of innuendo to go around. What follows is a roughly 90 minute adventure where you’ll see John having nightmares over being rejected, quit his job and explore the world (by shoving world wonders up his ass), try dating on a mock-up of Tinder and even get into a “cockfight” at a bar. With his high school reunion coming up in six months, John makes a commitment to turn his life around and impress all of the bullies who tormented him in school. He is working a dead-end job at “Flesh Corp,” a dildo testing factory, and hasn’t been successful in his love life.
Genital jousting rules full#
Someone came up with the brilliant idea of including a fully narrated story mode for the full release of Genital Jousting, so now if you’re a solo player that enjoys pleasuring themselves, you have a reason to check out this package.Īs I mentioned above, Genital Jousting stars a penis named John that is having a bit of an identity crisis.
Genital jousting rules update#
The game was definitely rough around the edges, but it exuded a certain charm that could not be denied.Īll of those multiplayer modes have been documented through various update posts and the like, so I’m going to focus more on the main course for this review. It quickly became a YouTube sensation for how absurd the concept was and how hilarious the game could get when knocking back a few drinks. It featured support for eight player battles where the microgames were swapped out Warioware style to make for crazy shenanigans. Released originally in early access on November 17, 2016, the game was a party game based around flaccid penises (penii?) penetrating one another. Genital Jousting isn’t exactly the newest game on the block. This is proof enough that we are living in the best timeline. All of the achievements of humankind have been leading up to this moment.Īlso, there is a story mode where you play as a dick named John who is trying to get ready for his high school reunion.
You can play in recreations of history’s greatest moments, explore alien planets, race in futuristic space craft and now play as a big floppy penis that is trying to insert itself in the ass of another penis. Gaming is such a strange and wonderful hobby.
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